One Week Guide to Key Largo
You have one week to get in all of Key Largo. What should you do?
One of the cheapest touristy things to do, and honestly, one of our favorites!
You will encounter birds that welcome you like a broken record with 'hello, goodbye, hello, goodbye', a man much like the Crocodile Hunter who we like to call Crocodile Wrangler, an airboat ride that will have you soaked in swamp water (sit up front-it's water-ful), and the chance to hold a baby alligator and pose with pythons.
Do not stick your hands in the water. I repeat, cough-dad-cough, do not stick your hands in the water. The airboat guide told us a man did that once and the alligator snipped off his hand. Stay safe folks.
This parrot has been wanting his own pair of shades since he discovered humans wear them. "Polly see, Polly do!" We notified a ranger who helped place him back under the canopy (but not until we snapped this Kodak Moment).
These whippersnappers can nip a nasty one, so their mouths are tapped shut while the audience has the opportunity to gently hold them.
Dad and the snake exchange sinister sideways glances.
This is what the airboat ride will do to you. We were the last ones to board and had no other choice but the front row. If you have the chance, sit in the corner and you're sure to get swamp-soaked. Bring a plastic bag and a dry pair of undergarments (actually, Florida is so humid the second one won't do much).
Have you ever been to Sea World and stood by the dolphin tank for hours because all you wanted to do was pet the "stink'n dolphin" (as quoted in Finding Nemo). Well, now you can!
There are a few options for dolphin interactions on different budgets. This was our Christmas present so I honestly don't know how pricey it is but there's a chance it may cost your right pinkie.
If you do opt for the Dolphin Trainer for a Day, it includes kissing the dolphin, holding hoops and bars, signaling flipper waves, belly rubs, superman pushes on the feet (I have no better descriptive phrase), and flipper pulling. The next best thing would be to stand on their backs like the Sea World performers.
3) Miami Beach
Red flags mean serious hazard and purple flags mean dangerous wildlife spotted. BOTH were flying high on Christmas Day when we decided to swim at Miami Beach. Those lifeguards must have water vision because I never noticed any dangerous conditions and every shadow in the water was from the sun shining on me. Still, this didn't suppress a heart-rate surge every time I saw it.
Spend some time walking along the shore, throwing a frisbee, building a creative seahorse sculpture, and boogie boarding.
4) Snorkeling (Maaaaybe)
Depending on weather conditions, snorkeling off the coast of Key Largo may be a-may-zing... may-be. We had our first snorkeling expedition canceled due to 5 foot ocean waves and foggy water conditions. That didn't stop us from rescheduling with someone willing to take their voyagers into any danger- Captain Slate.
We encountered handfuls of Portuguese Man-of-War. We thought he was kidding since they inflict a sting hotter than branded iron to the skin until we heard, "Man-of-War!" from the boat and panicked so hard we drank in salt. The boat rocked worse than my grandma's rocking chair and I thought for sure this Titanic would sink. Now on top of that, throw in the Captain and a diver smoking and you have a nauseous crew. Mmm... fish bait oo ha ha. "Watch out below!" the Captain shouted as I lost my cereal to the sea.
And yet, with all this muck, we still enjoyed seeing a sea turtle, sucking on orange slices, and riding at the front of the boat on our glides to and from snorkeling locations.
So if you want to go snorkeling, research 1. the depth of the water at each snorkeling location and 2. the height of the waves and gust of the wind, and 3. if they will provide orange slices.
Garl is absolutely the nicest guy in Florida you'll meet along with all his staff. This was the best ending to our Key Largo trip. Our guides name was Mark and he shared so many fun facts with us as we drove through Everglades to our hiking spot.
Fun Fact: the Everglades is actually a river that moves 1 foot a day.
A few miles in, he pulls over and starts walking right into the water. Barefoot! "A lot of tourists only explore along the roads and leave thinking the Everglades is dull. But really, they are not exploring the right parts," he told us, "the entire waterway can be walked through and explored. This is Snaggletooths lair," the said. Wow. Very inviting. I'm guessing that's an otter?
He took us through two domes, kayaking inside a mangrove tree area, and along the ocean show where we saw a manatee (3 inches from my fingers but I kept the ranger rules and didn't pet its wispy whiskers). We still had plenty of energy, so we drove to the boardwalk and did the night hike where alligator eyes could be seen reflecting on the water with our flashlights aimed just right.
A few tips for this adventure if you go alone:
1. Wear the right gear- waterproof pants/shorts, water shoes, mosquito repellant, sun hat, sunscreen, and a thin, long-sleeved shirt.
2. Edible Plants- the plum coconuts seen along the mangrove hike are EDIBLE! I ate one and it was delicious. 5 months later I'm still alive! Snorkeling with Captain Slate is more likely to kill you.
3. Manatees- like fresh water outlets that run into the ocean. Where kayaking outlets into the ocean is where we saw a mom and her pup interacting with people right by the dock.
4. Bring a Kayak/Lifejackets- this helps you explore deeper water and feel safe. I honestly would have died if the hike was in water higher than my waist. Luckily, we were with a big group and I didn't think an alligator had any reason to single me out. "Mmmm... look at those skinny white legs. Delicious."
5. Stay for the Sunset- watching the sunset from our kayaks was my husbands favorite part of the trip. And that's saying a lot. We swam with dolphins for goodness sake!
6) Robert is Here Market
